wassssuuuup

hey everyone, im back from mexicooooo....

it was the shit........ thats all i have to say... una cerveza por favor....lol

shit, i had soooo much fun, it was ridiculous!!!!!!!

missed everyone, i see no one misssed me...

oh and fucking i gained 4 pounds... not acceptable.....

im going on a serious crash diet...no fucking around till im down in the low

lates, jen

Mexico

oh man, im going to mexico on Wednesday.... at 4am..... shit,...... im not bikini ready

i have been fasting for 4 days..... im soooooo hungry... but i know the results will be good.... ive been working on my ass and tummy, and i think there is like the tiniest results.....lol, this sucks....

i hope when we get hrer my man wont have wandering eyes, but i highly doubt my wish will stay true, cause  #1 hes a guy, and #2 girls look soooo much better than me.....

i don't know why he likes me, i think hes beautiful, yes hes not the fittest guy, i mean, hes not fit at all... but damn im so jealous when it comes to him......

so yeah, im already almost all packed up.... i hope i don't forget anything, and i want this vacation to be stress free... i hope all goes cool, otherwise, im gonna have a miserable time... plus...

i hope my rag doesn't come by... if it does, im gonna fuck my man anyways....lol... but i just hope it doesn't.... i'll be sooooo pissed off.... anyways..... i hope all is cool....

*and dee*... im gonna try coke, ive made up my mind... i need to know what the deal is with this shit..... i need to lose at least 10 more pounds to be a lil more happy.... i'll do it with u one of these days.....lol

so yeah... im off... i'll post before i go.....

luv jen

fat fat fat

oh man.... i feel sooooo huge.......

i hate my stomach...... i need to do something about it..... i feel soooo bloated, and yet.... i finished my period, so i don't understand..... i told my man about the porn... and i made him cry.... he feels like shit... so HA good for him.....

i can't wait to go to mexico, but then i can wait cause im not ready to wear a bikini.... oh shoot, im gonna look like an overloaded sausage....... geeeeez

i just can't wait to get out of this cold and lay on the beach.... and drink a carona, and get layed.....lol...... oh man.... oh and since mexico is known for its drugs, im goona try my first coke session there....lol....

im fucked..... im fucked cause im not the person i want to be, and im not the same person from when i started this shit.... im unhappy..... yet fucked.... i don't know how to explain it, i guess im saying.....

I DON'T KNOW ME........

dee i miss u girl... jen u too

i hate myself

i am so pissed, so sad, so fat, so ugly and so gross.....

the reason im like this, is i was on my mnas computer, and all i found was fucking porn porn porn..... i know hes a guy, buy do u know how fucking ugly and useless, and how worthless it made me feel..... i must be so ugly, and so fat, and so gross that he doesn't love me....... i snooped on his fucking computer and this is what i get, fuck it, im gonna tell him i found it.......

the fucked up thing is he already knows how insecure i am about myself.... this just made it soooo much worse, i must be fat and ugly if he has to satisfy himself with them.....

i dunno.... i wanna starve myself..... the funny thing is, the porn wasn't even of skinny skinny girls..... im gonna starve myself anyways.... my man just broke my heart

jen

question

my boyfriend wants a baby...... i ain't ready to have one.... but it would be a beautiful baby, at least i think...... i feel fat as usual.... but ive been puking up e'erything im eating...... my throat hurts......

maybe im suppose to be a fatass....... i've even started to take laxatives sometimes.... does anyone kno if that shit even works? seriosly i need to kno, or am i wasting my time with shitting like that....lol

anyways xoxo

jen